Crazy Lady Contest

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I'm fucking busy so why don't your get off you fat, lazy, cheetos, eating ass and walk down to Borders to buy a PC for dummies book, you fat, smelly, hairy ole' hag. Ok. Thanks. Bye.
 
"I'm gonna eat the insides of your asshole after you take a shit if you don't stop calling me"

Some crazy shit like that should do.
 
*57 her three times and then call the cops. Then! you got a case for harassment. I would record... the phone calls (just your side of it. unless its legal in your state). Tell her 3 on each of the phone calls quit calling me.
 
I dunno... do a Brittish accent saying soething "Hello, you've reached the offices of <whatever incorporated>, please wait while your call is being assigned to one of our available operators" >>15-20 seconds of elevator music>> You in a middle-eastern accent, really loud, prefferably firing some big-ass machine gun in some game with the volume cranked up going like "Hello, this is Taliban! <confused reply> Oh, yes mrs <stupid old shrivelled cunt>, we can suicide bomb your next door neighbour's house tomorrow. We just need the address and one of our idiots... err... temporary employees will take care of it... just a moment... >> hey, Ahmed, you capitalistic pig, is that dynamite jacket ready yet? .. back to her: don't worry, my assistant tells me we'll be on time" or some other bullshit

This should freak her out a bit...
 
grr.
time to go home for the weekend.
damn well i guess 8 times was her limit! congrads to pfgannon who had me rolling on the floor after her response. pm paypal info. If she calls back on monday i'll reopen the contest to a new winner.
that was fun but after i started the contest i was actually hoping she would continue to call for longer. There was some good ones in there!
 
SHE'S BACK BITCHES!
I had to put her on hold so i could refind this thread for the next suggestions. Time for round two.

Xvifer's Suggestion
Tues: 1/16/07

Crazy Lady: Do you have a Windows 98 disk?
Eli: Depends, were you the one who called last friday?
Crazy Lady: Maybe. I don't know.
Eli: Hold please
*looked up the number and got the thread*
Eli: I'm sorry what did you need?
Crazy Lady: I need you to reinstall my windows 98
Eli: I'm sorry this is a male escort service. Can I help you with some strippers?
Crazy Lady: NO! I need my Windows 98.
Eli: You need male strippers
Crazy Lady: NO YOU NEED *bunch of jibberish*
Eli: I'll give you windows 98 if you buy 2 male strippers
Crazy Lady: You will give me windows 98?
Eli: No
*hung up*
 
"Hello Crazy Lady, you are the 28th caller to KWRS radio and you've just won yourself an all expenses paid trip to IRAQ. Can I have your name?"

"she answers"

"And one more thing for all our listeners out there, Whats the greatest radio station?"

"Ok now let me put you on hold and our producer will give you all the details."

Then hang up...
 
In an angry, insane voice:

Listen you piece of shit lady I've only been out of a jail a few months and I ain't fuckin scared of going back so if you call here one more goddamn time I swear on my mother's life that I will take the number on my caller ID, find your address, knock on your goddamn door with a machete and cut both of your tits off so unless you're into that kind of thing i suggest you pretend you've got a huge fucking cock in your mouth and SHUT THE FUCK UP!

click
 
trigatch4 said:
In an angry, insane voice:

Listen you piece of shit lady I've only been out of a jail a few months and I ain't fuckin scared of going back so if you call here one more goddamn time I swear on my mother's life that I will take the number on my caller ID, find your address, knock on your goddamn door with a machete and cut both of your tits off so unless you're into that kind of thing i suggest you pretend you've got a huge fucking cock in your mouth and SHUT THE FUCK UP!

click
Click to expand...

Wow..I say you bump this one up to the top of the list. :bigear:
 
trigatch4 said:
In an angry, insane voice:

Listen you piece of shit lady I've only been out of a jail a few months and I ain't fuckin scared of going back so if you call here one more goddamn time I swear on my mother's life that I will take the number on my caller ID, find your address, knock on your goddamn door with a machete and cut both of your tits off so unless you're into that kind of thing i suggest you pretend you've got a huge fucking cock in your mouth and SHUT THE FUCK UP!

click
Click to expand...

Anger management issue trig? I vote for this one next! :D
 
thats a good one :)

did i mention in the rules that i can't make physical threats? Kinda bad for business if the cops show up :)
 
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