Great thread, learning a lot and interesting to see how everyone has their own little way of going about things.
These took me a while to figure out fully, to experience them myself and then finally to believe them.. proof is in the pudding, I'm not asking anyone to believe me, but to think and to try it for themselves.
1. You have a conscious and a subconscious.
2. The conscious thoughts and imagination are under your absolute control when you decide them to be.
3. The subconscious is the mirror of the consciousness. It's only property besides being a mirror unto yourself is it's ability to retain thoughts linked to emotion, it's extremely efficient at doing this.
4. Everything in this universe you've ever thought about while feeling something is assigned an emotion and stored away for your entire life.
5. Every time an emotion is felt or recalled through something(anything you can think of) and you don't accept or comes to terms with it in a way which is emotionally meaningful to you in appeasing that which troubles your being, you empower that thought/emotion further in a negative way.
6. By consciously choosing how we feel, we take momentum away from what we don't want to feel, freeing ourselves from the burden of those emotions which bother you is what will set you free.
7. I classify everything in terms of momentum. Basically, tell myself, Zimok you have reacted in X manner for Y problem Z amount of times. You will need equal but opposing positive restructuring of your emotion, so every time you will encounter Y, you will consciously choose the best action/reaction to X, Z amount of times until you have enough momentum that it is eradicated from your being.
You now have the tools to no longer be a victim to your emotions.
If you have more interest in this I'd suggest you look into 'cognitive behavioral therapy'.