Does Anyone Else Suck At Interviews As Much As I Do?

LOL @ tags.

OP: I do not suck at interviews. In fact, I often find the interviewers are more nervous than I am most of the time (can't maintain solid eye contact for more than 5 seconds, twitching, stuttering). It's a real shame.

Now that I've just stroked my own cock, here's a few helpful hints:
-Maintain eye contact at least 70% of the time.
-Remain detached from the outcome of the interview. Literally give zero fucks whether you get it or not. Don't use that as an excuse to not be involved in the interview, however. Just don't let your ego or happiness ride on the outcome of the interview.
-Smile a lot.
-Realize the insignificance of your human existence. You're simply a blip on the radar of human history, and any mistake you could possibly make as been made billions upon billions of times over the past 200 years alone by people from all walks of life.
-Realize that you & everyone you know will be most likely dead in less than 70 years. This realization helps me say/do bold things fearlessly because it forces me to realize the scarcity of time itself. Why would I waste time fearing humiliation when anyone who could possibly shame me will be dead so soon? I'll be dead just as soon! FUCK IT!
-Don't masturbate/have sex 3 days before your interview. Testosterone might benefit you.
-Humanize the interviewer. Most of the time, we tend to place interviewers on this pedestal of crazy authority. They become less of a human being, and more of a god-like judge. Take a few minutes to realize that the interviewer is only human, and is trying to find his/her path through life just like you. Realize you're talking to a human being and not a concept.

This shit probably only helps me deal with social anxiety in high pressure moments, but if you can take anything from it, great. :)
 


if you have the right mindset going in, you don't need any of the stuff above. you're not trying to get them, they're trying to get you. then all your facial expressions, your movements, and everything else will be right. be right in your mind, and all else will follow.
 
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Btw, from the tags, does Xanax really work for nerves when doing speeches or presentations?
 
rusvik said:
Btw, from the tags, does Xanax really work for nerves when doing speeches or presentations?
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Honestly, for me personally, yes. But only when I'm talking to hundreds of people and scared shitless. If I'm talking to 20 people or so I'm fine. Xanax has that "melting away all anxiety" aspect to it though, for me at least. I'm not recommending to others.

@OP: What if you changed the question from "Why do I suck at interviews?" to "How can I kick ass at interviews?" or even better "How can I eliminate even worrying about or doing interviews from being an important part of my life?"

I know it sounds hokey, but when you ask the wrong questions you get the wrong answers. When you change the questions you change the answers.
 
GimpSpack said:
-Maintain eye contact at least 70% of the time.
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This seems creepy imo. If eye contact means just looking at them, then ok.

But if you are staring into their eyes 70% of the time that's creepy. Idk how people can stare somebody else in the eyes for more than 5 seconds and continue to carry on a conversation. All I can think about is the fact that we are staring at each other and then I lose my thought. Lmao, am I the only one?

I think I used to suck at interviews, but think I have gotten a little better. Here is what I've learned:

- Have a few talking points prepared. Your talking points should be experience you have that relates specifically to the job you are applying.

- Have a few questions prepared and written down. Bring them up when they ask if you have any questions.

- I like GimpSpack's advice on staying detached from the outcome of the interview. You don't want to appear like you are desperate and really aggressive imo. You should be reasonably relaxed and friendly.

- Be as detailed as possible about everything, especially with stuff on your resume and your experience. I'm pretty sure I didn't get a few jobs because I didn't take the time to thoroughly explain my experience and the employer assumed it was fake or something.

- Don't talk about pay or benefits unless they bring it up in the interview.

- Bring a copy of the job description, your resume, and take notes during the interview. This mostly just gives the appearance that you are a good worker. I think it's stupid because I can usually remember stuff, but w/e it's about the appearance.

- If you absolutely need a job, continue to apply for new jobs until you have an acceptable offer. Don't ever slow down because you got an interview or because an interview went well.

And I think the MOST important thing when looking for a job is that your resume is written specifically for the job that you are applying for. Don't just have one resume you submit to each job. You should be able to look at the job description and then at your resume and determine in 5 seconds that you are definitely qualified. Also try to use exact words from the job description in your resume. This can help if there is an automated system thing.
 
rusvik said:
Btw, from the tags, does Xanax really work for nerves when doing speeches or presentations?
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Yes, but it has the tendency to make me lose my edge. I've experimented talking to a group of 100+ with and without Xanax and I prefer without.

The anxiety is actually good for you because it causes you to be a little quicker on your feet. When I take xanax before a presentation, I find that I'm more sluggish and couldn't really care too much about the outcome.
 
Nope.

I actually got any job I got called into an interview for.

The "trick"?

Alright

1. Be prepared. Fucking look up the company and news about it and the niche. In these days and age, easy as fuck, still impresses people.

2. Relax and have a chat. I had interviews where I was just chatting with the boss, not even about the job, but rather about the field and anything.

::emp::
 
Try talking to random strangers everyday (assuming you leave moms basement). Do this everyday for a month at minimum.
 
If you feel confident about your skills, there is nothing wrong that can happen.
Go there like "here I am, I do this and that, I am bla bla" and end of story. He wanted to interview you, so fuck him if he doesn't want to make eye contact, be friendly or ask questions. Be a little bit in control. Imagine you are a freelancer getting a big job.
 
Dwight Schrute said:
Yes, but it has the tendency to make me lose my edge. I've experimented talking to a group of 100+ with and without Xanax and I prefer without.

The anxiety is actually good for you because it causes you to be a little quicker on your feet. When I take xanax before a presentation, I find that I'm more sluggish and couldn't really care too much about the outcome.
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I used to have debilitating anxiety in front of a crowd. I don't have that anymore, now I just suck at making a good presentation. So I went from debiliating anxiety to plain boring. Guess more practice is needed.
 
I don't really know how I'd do in an interview. I should maybe go apply for some jobs, just to find out. If they phone back saying I got the job, I can just tell them I was joking, and don't actually want the job.

I'm quite confident I'd fare pretty well though. Virtually every time when sitting with a client, I've managed to perk their interest enough to do business with me, so can't see an interview being much different. Dunno, last interview was 12 years ago in a truck with a redneck, who only cared if I can handle a shovel or not.

Actually, don't even think I got interviewed. Just a phone call, "you got work boots?" ... "yep" ... "good, show up at the shop at 7am Monday".
 
shindig said:
I had an interview where I insisted on being paid half what they were trying to pay me, recently, lol I don't feel like I'm worth what they were offering and I felt like they thought I was more experienced than I am.

Then after meeting them at their office I didn't hear anything from them for a week and was having all this self doubt, embarrassed thinking I made an idiot of myself, thinking they were probably laughing at the code I gave them for the first project. But low and behold they called and gave me more work @$55/hr. Which for me is really good, I'm on chronic opiates and half disabled, dropped out of college, etc.
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Read this, it's from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

They went to the kitchen at the back of the monastery. The alchemist lighted the fire, and the monk brought him some lead, which the alchemist placed in an iron pan. When the lead had become liquid, the alchemist took from his pouch the strange yellow egg. He scraped from it a sliver as thin as a hair, wrapped it in wax, and added it to the pan in which the lead had melted. The mixture took on a reddish color, almost the color of blood. The alchemist removed the pan from the fire, and set it aside to cool. As he did so, he talked with the monk about the tribal wars. "I think they're going to last for a long time," he said to the monk. The monk was irritated. The caravans had been stopped at Giza for some time, waiting for the wars to end. "But God's will be done," the monk said. "Exactly," answered the alchemist. When the pan had cooled, the monk and the boy looked at it, dazzled. The lead had dried into the shape of the pan, but it was no longer lead. It was gold. "Will I learn to do that someday?" the boy asked. "This was my destiny, not yours," the alchemist answered. "But I wanted to show you that it was possible." They returned to the gates of the monastery. There, the alchemist separated the disk into four parts. "This is for you," he said, holding one of the parts out to the monk. "It's for your generosity to the pilgrims." "But this payment goes well beyond my generosity," the monk responded. "Don't say that again. Life might be listening, and give you less the next time."
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There goes my 2000th post... Hope you take it to heart
 
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