how do you convince yourself to do something?
- Thread starter patates
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That was my problem. I felt powerless to do what I thought I was supposed to be doing, and I just shut down. I couldn't forgive myself, and I couldn't figure out a way to redeem myself.
It required me to put myself first for the first time in my life. To forget about what I hadn't done, or was supposed to be doing, and only focus on my own immediate welfare.
People always said to me, "You need to take care of yourself first" and I didn't get it. I always valued myself by the value I could deliver to others.
They were right though.
You've got to accept you've made mistakes and they don't have to define you for the rest of your life. That you have a lot of life left to live, and you decide who you are and what you are going to be.
Great post, thanks for sharing.
Why havent you taken that next step, and put it into action? Are you waiting around till you have enough time/money? There will never be enough time/money. Or maybe you are afraid it wont live up to what you've dreamed of? Fuck all that. Small baby steps is all you need to take. If you dont start planing & taking those trips today, 45 then 55, then 75 will just pass you by. And remember, nobody said you had to travel the world the first trip.
@patates, sorry I hijacked your thread with my autobiography, I gave you some rep as compensation.
It's amazing how that wall of overwhelming stuff became manageable once I started to pick away at it. And I only started because I already forgave myself and had a plan for if I failed trying again. A psychological safety net.
My goals have changed too though, because life changes. I am not that same person years ago. I am quite different now, and my current goal has changed to suit.
Focusing on achieving the goal misses the point of the process. If you're in a bad place, you need an escape plan so you can start to act on it. Things might go wrong, things might go right, the longer your plan, the less likely it will come together as you intended. What's important is that when you are stuck like the OP, you can get unstuck enough to do literally ~~ANYTHING~~.
Once you have a little momentum, the fog lifts, moods brighten and it becomes a lot easier to carry on. Momentum and process > results. Life is a journey, it's cliche, but it is true.
Also, staying fixed on one goal may sound determined, but I think it is narrow. I enjoy the opportunity to wake up every day and pick any direction which suits me. That is true freedom. YMMV
The goal was abstract not absolute. I have solved like 90% of the problems I was going to try to solve before I traveled, and I have 3 years left to go.
It's amazing how that wall of overwhelming stuff became manageable once I started to pick away at it. And I only started because I already forgave myself and had a plan for if I failed trying again. A psychological safety net.
My goals have changed too though, because life changes. I am not that same person years ago. I am quite different now, and my current goal has changed to suit.
Focusing on achieving the goal misses the point of the process. If you're in a bad place, you need an escape plan so you can start to act on it. Things might go wrong, things might go right, the longer your plan, the less likely it will come together as you intended. What's important is that when you are stuck like the OP, you can get unstuck enough to do literally ~~ANYTHING~~.
Once you have a little momentum, the fog lifts, moods brighten and it becomes a lot easier to carry on. Momentum and process > results. Life is a journey, it's cliche, but it is true.
Also, staying fixed on one goal may sound determined, but I think it is narrow. I enjoy the opportunity to wake up every day and pick any direction which suits me. That is true freedom. YMMV
i have been doing whatever the fuck i want. eating like a pig. not sleeping. not giving a fuck about my responsibilities and my future. i am hiding my head in the sand. trying to stay away from people.
how do i get out of this situation? where do i start from?
i don't mind trolling, people need laugh
You're getting a lot of good advice. But there's no way to know what actually motivates you to take action. Here is an idea:
Step 1: figure out where you want to be in X years.
Step 2: map the steps to get there.
Step 3: form short-term goals for each step.
Step 4: establish a cash bond for each goal.
More on the cash bond...
First, make it hurt. Not $100, but 20% of your monthly gross.
Second, do it with someone who will greedily snatch your money at the first chance (most of us on WF will happily play this role).
Third, put it in escrow. There's no way to back out.
You can take it a step further: agree that your cash will be donated to a charity you hate. If you're a Republican, arrange to have it donated to the DNC. If you're a misogynist, the cash can go to a charity that promotes feminism.
Will it work for you? There's no way to know. But it does move you past talk, which is cheap, to accountability, which, at 20% of your monthly gross, probably isn't.
Bonus: if you do it with someone here who doesn't like you, we'll know you're not all talk.
At guerilla: you make the forum better.
This thread - positive sign of your new start
This is positive sign that you started this thread, its showing that you want to change yourself ...
Your mind and your heart started to starve to get change in your life ...
I would recommend to start with simple (but effective) things for few days (I simply enjoy my morning time because of these few steps) -
Start giving importance to yourself, your life and your near and dear ones. Nothing will help your situation unless and until you gain determination to change yourself ...
Remember you got life just once ... so do not waste it by asking other what to do ?
Guerilla gave you perfect advice and you are mature enough to take action on it.
Hope to see some nice and positive threads from you in coming months ...
This is positive sign that you started this thread, its showing that you want to change yourself ...
Your mind and your heart started to starve to get change in your life ...
I would recommend to start with simple (but effective) things for few days (I simply enjoy my morning time because of these few steps) -
- Get up early in the morning may be around 5 AM and walk in the park.
- Fill your lungs with fresh air and enjoy it ...
- Listen to your favourite music
- Spend time with people whose company you enjoy
- Do some stretch ...
- Have your favourite and healthy food ...
Start giving importance to yourself, your life and your near and dear ones. Nothing will help your situation unless and until you gain determination to change yourself ...
Remember you got life just once ... so do not waste it by asking other what to do ?
Guerilla gave you perfect advice and you are mature enough to take action on it.
Hope to see some nice and positive threads from you in coming months ...