How to stay sober longer?

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You clearly need some Aussie advice here. If the quantity was around six beers I'd suggest simply using a straw (yes thats right, a straw). Since this is twelve beers, I'd suggest the patented Insomniac birthday technique. Take one eight beer funnel, fill it with six beers, chug said funnel and hold your head back for a few minutes. Then proceed to wait ten minutes so you have time to urinate as much of the beer as possible, then proceed to prepare and do another six beers through the funnel. At the end of the night you will go from a mincy little faggot ball to something like this:

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Eat a slab butter before - this will line your stomach fully with fat (milk is a woosey alternative) and also enable you to show all your mates up with you drinking your 12 beers in 25 mins rather than 45 mins giving you total bragging rights for ever :)

I read somewhere that spies used to drink a little bit of olive oil before drinking so that they wouldn't get drunk, but that the effects on the liver are pretty awful.

yea, actually any kind of grease will work, and works well.
 
Maybe you could sneak a hand in your pocket and play pocket pool?

Try and masturbate in your pants during your drinking session and/or fondling your berries, that should get your mind off being "too drunk" and you'll want to drink even more since being drunk and masturbating is awesome, IMO.

I get drunk in the shower with a laptop on the toilet seat and peak out from my shower drapes and whack it for who knows how long, even after I'm done. I just want to drink more and keep continuing my marathon. Unfortuantely, I have to stop when my hot water goes away and wait another couple hours to get hot water and take an actual shower.
 
I get drunk in the shower with a laptop on the toilet seat and peak out from my shower drapes and whack it for who knows how long, even after I'm done. I just want to drink more and keep continuing my marathon. Unfortuantely, I have to stop when my hot water goes away and wait another couple hours to get hot water and take an actual shower.

WTF? Wow dude... just... wow. Some things you should keep to yourself. :rasta:
 
Maybe you could sneak a hand in your pocket and play pocket pool?

Try and masturbate in your pants during your drinking session and/or fondling your berries, that should get your mind off being "too drunk" and you'll want to drink even more since being drunk and masturbating is awesome, IMO.

I get drunk in the shower with a laptop on the toilet seat and peak out from my shower drapes and whack it for who knows how long, even after I'm done. I just want to drink more and keep continuing my marathon. Unfortuantely, I have to stop when my hot water goes away and wait another couple hours to get hot water and take an actual shower.

You should try bizarre stand-up comedy while you wait for your affiliate marketing stuff to get going again.
 
You should try bizarre stand-up comedy while you wait for your affiliate marketing stuff to get going again.

I actually have tried acting lessons. I was still the same awkward loser I am today. Needless to say, she has stopped responding to my e-mails.

I wish I could say my life was just a joke, but no in fact it is a reality.
 
I know about a product that neutralize the effects of the alcohol in the body.

It is made from chinese herbs,you can drink any alcoholic beverage and the product let you only digest (metabolize) a 10 or 15% of alcohol.

If you drink ten beers, you only feel the effect of 2 or 3.

It is used mostly for the girls at the cantinas in the border of USA and Mexico, Tijuana near san diego in California.

The girls make good money drinking with the patrons,and they can't get drunk easily,earning comissions for every beer the the patron and herself
drink.

The name of the product is "Drunk Stopper".

A tincture from chinese herbs:
Yuan Zhi
Gan Jian
Xian He cao
It cost $29.95 and last for 20 times.

I can get you a bottle for $15.00, It is safe to swallow. Instructions included

Pm me

Magnus1

I used the product, it works!.:bowdown:
 
Can't believe I haven't heard anyone else make this suggestion on the almighty WickedFire...

Snort a few lines of Coke and you won't feel a damn thing... matter of fact you'll probably drink a lot more then 12 beers...shit those fools will be making you their president soon thereafter.

When you get home down a liter of Gatorade.
 
lol I drank 12 beers once.. I woke up and some fat bitch was dry humping me :anon.sml:
Don't Attempt It.
 
As someone already mentioned one of the major problems in this situation is the gas. There are several solutions to this:

1) Learn how to burp on demand, if you kind of inhale a bit of air then burp it out voluntarily often a load more comes with it. This makes you feel a lot less full and bloated. *warning* if done wrong this can also make you puke.

2) Pour the beers into a glass rather than drink from the bottle, helps you swallow less gas.

3) Drink Guinness instead of beer.
 
1- open the beers a few minutes ahead of time to let the fizz out.
2- Adderall (though I would not suggest that, can be pretty bad combining the two)
 
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