This is arguably the most retarded and irrational piece of "advice" I have ever read. If you for one second think that telling school officials you are going to show your child how to deal with bullies using guns, you are a fucking moron.
how would you deal with your child being bullied at school?
- Thread starter grazie
- Start date
This is arguably the most retarded and irrational piece of "advice" I have ever read. If you for one second think that telling school officials you are going to show your child how to deal with bullies using guns, you are a fucking moron.
Take him out of public school. It's a rape room for the gifted and intelligent children in the world, meant to destroy their dignity and program them to be useful servants for the elites.
Or you can leave him in and blame the situation without actually addressing the fundamental institution whose bias is to destroy, berate and assimilate.
OP watch this
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ogCc8ObiwQ"]John Taylor Gatto - State Controlled Consciousness - YouTube[/ame]
Then decide what sort of parent you want to be.
Or you can leave him in and blame the situation without actually addressing the fundamental institution whose bias is to destroy, berate and assimilate.
OP watch this
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ogCc8ObiwQ"]John Taylor Gatto - State Controlled Consciousness - YouTube[/ame]
Then decide what sort of parent you want to be.
the best solution to stop bullies are other kids at school taking an interest in stopping it.
I was just normal/averaged size in high school, however for some reason all my friends were monster sized.
Anyway, i have never liked bullies, so one day in the hallway in front of the stairs we always sat on, some asshat was bullying a kid named Anthony. I knew Anthony was special, but also quite smart. The hallway was full of people, so everyone saw what was going on and the word spread fast.
I mentioned to my one linebacker sized friend that he should go and put a stop to the bullying of Anthony because it wasn't cool. He agreed and stood up, grabbed the offender and bounced him really hard off of the lockers on the opposite side of the wall. Then dumped him into the garbage pail that was outside the bathroom door nearby
At that moment the VP of the school walked around the corner and sees the offending bully in the garbage can and asks what is going on here? So i piped up, just letting people know that we dont like bullies. He thought for about half a second, and said good stuff, i dont like bullies either, and kept on walking...lol
That was about the end of that right there. I would like to say that at our school, there was no openly visible bullying at least.
My point? Perhaps your son can look to be the solution for himself and for others?
I was just normal/averaged size in high school, however for some reason all my friends were monster sized.
Anyway, i have never liked bullies, so one day in the hallway in front of the stairs we always sat on, some asshat was bullying a kid named Anthony. I knew Anthony was special, but also quite smart. The hallway was full of people, so everyone saw what was going on and the word spread fast.
I mentioned to my one linebacker sized friend that he should go and put a stop to the bullying of Anthony because it wasn't cool. He agreed and stood up, grabbed the offender and bounced him really hard off of the lockers on the opposite side of the wall. Then dumped him into the garbage pail that was outside the bathroom door nearby
At that moment the VP of the school walked around the corner and sees the offending bully in the garbage can and asks what is going on here? So i piped up, just letting people know that we dont like bullies. He thought for about half a second, and said good stuff, i dont like bullies either, and kept on walking...lol
That was about the end of that right there. I would like to say that at our school, there was no openly visible bullying at least.
My point? Perhaps your son can look to be the solution for himself and for others?
I think there are some jewels of advice in here - mostly it is all about who your kid is - the focus is inward in most cases. I do not know you so you have to be honest with yourself if you are capable of making a true evaluation of why your kid is not assimilating.
Too fat, too skinny, obnoxious, does not know how to "be cool", talks too much,. too little - whatever. In most situations it is the lack of social skills that really causes a problem. This of course is exacerbated if the kid does not know how to dress or groom.
It's quite possible due to your lack of influence the kid is growing up to be a total mamma's boy with behavioral traits that are less than manly. Who knows? You need to figure out the problem and before you do take a good look at yourself too - it may be that you are very insightful and "cool" in which case you can help, but if you are not, then enlist a friend that is. I know an uncle of mine that thought he was "cool" martial arts and everything, but really he is just a jack ass dufous that does not know what cool is - yet he is giving his kid advice on how to fit in.
There are a lot of levels to this.
I would also consider Guerilla's advice, I know I spent HS in a ghetto school magnet program and truly it was a shitty experience where I would have been much better off in a nicer school normal program if for no other reason than I would have had role models that fit my mind.
Consider the school your child is in - if money is a factor it is better to live in a condo in a rich area with educated peers than a house in a shitty area - just a thought - it may not apply to you at all. The fact is that gifted kids do not belong in most public schools - at a minimum they need to be at the district's best schools where they can excel with other smart children.
Too fat, too skinny, obnoxious, does not know how to "be cool", talks too much,. too little - whatever. In most situations it is the lack of social skills that really causes a problem. This of course is exacerbated if the kid does not know how to dress or groom.
It's quite possible due to your lack of influence the kid is growing up to be a total mamma's boy with behavioral traits that are less than manly. Who knows? You need to figure out the problem and before you do take a good look at yourself too - it may be that you are very insightful and "cool" in which case you can help, but if you are not, then enlist a friend that is. I know an uncle of mine that thought he was "cool" martial arts and everything, but really he is just a jack ass dufous that does not know what cool is - yet he is giving his kid advice on how to fit in.
There are a lot of levels to this.
I would also consider Guerilla's advice, I know I spent HS in a ghetto school magnet program and truly it was a shitty experience where I would have been much better off in a nicer school normal program if for no other reason than I would have had role models that fit my mind.
Consider the school your child is in - if money is a factor it is better to live in a condo in a rich area with educated peers than a house in a shitty area - just a thought - it may not apply to you at all. The fact is that gifted kids do not belong in most public schools - at a minimum they need to be at the district's best schools where they can excel with other smart children.
You tototally missed everything I said about the Dunning Kruger effect..Here..I'll make it bold.
"This is the Dunning–Kruger effect, where unskilled people suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly rating their ability or knowledge much higher than average.
They start making assumptions like "they can just eye gouge a trained ufc fighter" or just "Grab his balls".
Kruger and Dunning proposed that, for a given skill, incompetent people will:
1. tend to overestimate their own level of skill;
2. fail to recognize genuine skill in others;
3. fail to recognize the extremity of their inadequacy;
4. recognize and acknowledge their own previous lack of skill, if they can be trained to substantially improve.
Whats funny, is that ACTUALLY TRAINED people have the opposite effect, once you become skilled...you then learn how deep the skill set gets and you are surrounded with people who are extremely knowledgeable, talented and skillful and so you then compare yourself to them, feeling inadequate and below average even though you are high above average when compared to society as a whole."
Guys who start training in a martial art, typically LOOSE the ego, they don't GET one. When you are learning how to fight, you are getting your ass kicked every day, by guys littler than your, older than you everything. You learn to not judge books by their cover and you learn that you are not as badd ass as you thought you were.
By the time you do get skilled, and you start competeing and you want to go out and beat the best, and your used to fighting other skilled opponents...fighting outside seems silly and pointless. Your like "Whew hooo...basically beat up a white belt".
There is nothing brag worthy about beating an unskilled opponent, once you have skill. Listening to you talk tells me that you've never been around trained fighters.
Get him him into something cool that other kids would think was bad ass, hmmmm....I wonder what that could be.....MMA! BOXIN!, BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU!
Not to mention, there are so many kids that are doing this now, he would probably instantly have new brothers in his school to hang out with, and probably a few of them would be really good and would have his back.
Every city I've ever been in where I wore a Gracie Barra Team shirt, I've bumped into another guy who trained and we instantly shared a brother hood. I've had guys buy me drinks, comp meals all kinds of stuff.
Yeah, that will teach him everything he needs to know about interacting with people lol
Some people are just looking for a fight, brother. And jiu-jitsu in particular, also know is arte suave (translated as "the gentle art") also you to control an opponent and apply as much damage as you choose.
You can fight, without fighting; i.e, force him to stop fighting you. You can hold him and imobilize without hurting him...or choke him unconscious, without causing any real damage..or of course take it to extremes where ou break bones, dislocate joints or even kill them. (Not advocated)
Tommy Chong
ก้้้้้้&
Why lie to him? Getting beat up can and does kill people all the time. Training him that he's invincible will only lead him to his death.
Not in younger people. I knew of many guys that would always act like they could fight anyone just because they took martial arts. One guy I knew in high school actually went as far as to put a big windshield sign on his truck that said "BLACK BELT". lol. Most young guys that get into MMA love to try and start fights.
So this is possibly a solution for a few years from now or however long it would take him to become "skilled" in your opinion.. What about now? He's obviously being bullied for some reason. Why not try to fix the problem and help him to fit in more instead of trying to turn him into Jackie Chan?
Exactly. So if a bully thought someone was "skilled" they would want to beat him up even more just so they would have something to brag about.
Actually, some of my family is very involved in fighting. They own an MMA school, host cage fights, etc.. I've grown up around plenty of "trained fighters". The whole MMA thing is great for marketing and making money, but in reality, it's all completely unnecessary. Fighting is a very primitive thing. The more advanced a species becomes, the more it resorts to the flight response instead of fight. There will always be someone bigger than you or more skilled. Even the biggest, most skilled and strongest fighter can be defeated by a small group of guys, or one guy with a weapon. If you really want to survive, learn how to adapt to your environment by becoming likable, and avoiding fights altogether.
Socializing should be separated from learning, especially when the person learning is smarter than the majority of society.
Look here if you're really concerned about why your kid is a target
... on the other hand, teaching our kids violence definitely is the way forward. It's worked so well for us as a society so far and there's no reason to think that we're anything more than shaved apes.
Wow, you're a retard. Fighting back has nothing to do with being a bad ass. But if someone shoves your head in a locker, or punches you, or whatever, you hit back. You don't run away and ask to be home schooled.
tldr;
Certainly what you say is true. But learning to fight without addressing the underlying cause of the non social acceptance - that is a mistake. Then you turn your kid into a total jack ass that will never be liked.
I mean how much do you need to know to get out of the average fight unless you are targeted as a snitch, narc, or whatever by an actual gang in which case you need to remove the kid from school.
The kid needs to learn how to function in the real world - they might as well learn the nuance of social acceptance and interaction now. Teach the kid social skills - I mean a kid that handles himself well and dresses and grooms to the mainstream - all he has to do is STFU and most people will not make him a target.
I am afraid that a lot of people on this board giving advice have no idea how to "be cool" or function at the top of the social ladder (the cool ladder not the money ladder) . "Learn to fight" - really? Tell me that's not your answer for a long term solution.
A kid who isn't a fighter is going to get their ass kicked. Terrible advice. If he is interested in learning martial arts then put him in a class, but if it is not something he is interested in then don't.
Schools take bullying very serious. You just say the word and administration and teachers quickly solve the problem. You, your ex and your son need to contact the administration and have your son tell all of his teachers, so they can catch these kids in the act.
Your only issue is if you live in a shitty district and the bullies come from homes where the parents are non-existent. If the bullies don't worry about their parents then I doubt they are going to care about punishment from the school.
Schools take bullying very serious. You just say the word and administration and teachers quickly solve the problem. You, your ex and your son need to contact the administration and have your son tell all of his teachers, so they can catch these kids in the act.
Your only issue is if you live in a shitty district and the bullies come from homes where the parents are non-existent. If the bullies don't worry about their parents then I doubt they are going to care about punishment from the school.
We are in total agreement with our perception of the problem ... but come to completely different solutions.
Life is War is Hell
The sooner my daughter knows exactly how the game is played, the better. Also, mingling with the peasants is best done at a young age to show the irrationality of the herd and how to best shear them.
Tommy Chong
ก้้้้้้&
Maybe you didn't read the OP. Nobody was shoving his son's head against the locker or punching him. They were calling him names. In other words, they were trying to provoke a response from him so they could fight.. If someone randomly decided to attack you, of course you'd fight back. This situation could be completely avoided though if his son was more accepted and fit in better.
Exactly.
Most of the people I've ever hung out with, including myself, has never had their asses kicked. Only the biggest outcasts of the school are bullied. It's a social issue. Here are a few possible reasons that someone might be bullied:
1. Fat
2. Acts gay
3. Retarded looking haircut
4. Says stupid things
5. Tries to fight others
6. Mom walks them to school
7. Dresses differently
8. Acts like a nerd (aka takes "gifted" classes)
9. Acts annoyed when people make fun of them
10. Is openly into something nerdy such as star wars or comic books
What? Lol, you don't listen very well. The more you train, the more you realize you are not invincible. Its like your letting everything I've said go over your head.
And I love you how you state that it will "ONLY lead him to his death". What facts are these based on? Because there are millions of people practicing martial arts, am I unaware of some statistic showing millions of skilled fighters dying while fighting? lol
I said ONCE SKILLED, not people full of shit. Bullies lack skill which is why they go out and bully...so that they can FEEL SKILLED. Most seek out the weak, someone they KNOW they can beat.
Most skilled people do the opposite, they seek out those they can't beat so that they can become better and eventually beat that person, therefore becoming better themselves. That is one of the points of competition.
Fighters know where they stand in the food chain, they don't feel the need to prove it to themselves. They are humbled while learning to fight, by constantly loosing to everyone in the gym. You slowly gain skill and then because of your humbling journey, you have empathy for the newer unskilled people that join the gym and you begin to mentor them.
Although you now have skill, and can easily defeat your average person with no skill you are still humble, because you know that there are so many more advanced students that can still beat you at your gym or in competitions or in the cage.
You also have this realization that everyone that doesn't train, is essentially a white belt...they are these unskilled people that you work with daily and mentor and that you can easily defeat. So you don't feel the need to prove you can beat them up. You find yourself talking your way out of the fight because you know in your head you can win.
Your ego isn't pushing you to prove your can beat him, thats why most fighters don't get in a lot of fights outside of the ring. (Not to mention real fighters train all the time and are sore, beat up or are saving themselves from injuries for upcoming fights and tournaments)
Bullies, most of them are scared of the unknown..they are scared that they aren't tuff so they seek out the weak to beat up and prove to themselves they are tuff. They are feeding their ego.
I've been talking about MMA and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu...practical martial arts that actual work in real fights. I'm not talking about some fake karate school that gives out black belts in 2 years to little kids, where you never even actually fight.
The International Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Federation requires that a student be at least 19 years old and have spent a minimum of 1 year ranked as a brown belt to be eligible to receive a black belt
So that kid was either a liar, or doing a martial art that I'm not talking about...either way, it invalidates the use of that point in your argument.
"Most" really? This is Hasty Generalization and a logical fallacy but regardless, The "MOST" your talking about, are really just "the few" and are guys that come to train once a week and quit after 4 months and then go around wearing Tapout shirts and bragging "they train mma".
Again, not the type of people we are talking about. I'm talking about REAL fighters, REAL martial artist...people who train 2-7 times a week, for years and become skilled fighters on a humbling, eye opening journey of learning what real fighting is.
Its not the movies, ninjas or cobra kai.
Its a gradual process, but the results begin immediately. Our school teaches you more than just how to defend yourself, it teaches you self confidence...because of constant interactions with new people, you learn people skills and how to communicate and deal with a wide variety people.
You also meet kids, in your area, that probably go to your school, so you make new friends and have a common intrest..giving you a new group to hang out with. Your no longer that "loner" getting bullied. You think you know what your talking about, but they are all based on unrealistic ideas, stereotypes and fallacious logic you keep offering by applying these straw men arguments.
Maybe, but then your in the same situation you were before...except NOW your more equip to deal with it.
If I was to assume, it sounds to me like your family tries/tried to get you into it, and you wont (either out of fear, hate, disgust, whatever) so you try to rationalize it with reason why you wont do it. So you over generalize and make assumptions based on ignorance from lack of real experience. You try to come up with reason to not agree with it, so that you can be happy not trying it. But that is just an assumption from listening to you talk. Either way... your way off and because you aren't a fighter or a martial artist...your not experienced enough to tell me how we think or act. You can only assume, as I did about your reasons for not trying.
Training to fight for competition and learning self defense, does not equate avocation for fighting in the street. By all principal, it opposes it. Its called self DEFENSE..not self OFFENSE.
Sounds like your putting all your eggs in one basket and placing a thanksgiving dinner on a table with just one leg, becoming likable. As true as it is that someone will always be bigger and better...there will always be someone out there that you annoy. Better to be prepared physically and mentally. Learn to be likable, have confidence and be prepared to defend yourself...which is the foundation of all martial arts.
Careful "Mr. Likeable who avoids fights".... narcissism doesn't always boed so well with "making people like you" and "avoiding fights" :1bluewinky:
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Fixed your post.
Lmao, yeah...thats very typical. Along with they are a black belt in MMA =D
Tommy Chong
ก้้้้้้&
That was a response to someone that advised the OP to teach his son that being beat up couldn't kill him, which would be a complete lie of course.
Like it or not, humans are fragile. They can die or be paralyzed very easily. If someone goes around thinking that they can't die, they certainly won't be alive too long.
You say ONCE SKILLED, but yet you suggest MMA training as an immediate solution to his problems.
Where is this rule that a bully can't be just as skilled as anyone else his age? ..and who says they have to do it so they can feel skilled? What if some do it for the entertainment value? ..or even as a "cooler" method of trying help the weaker person (by making them aware of their social problems)?
Honestly bro, I can't stop laughing. I feel like this is a movie quote from Beverly Hills Ninja or something.
*tough
This thread is about a kid who's 12...
Actually, my point was that young people that are involved in any type of MMA tend to seek out fights for no reason.
I'm so confused. When did the OP's 12 year old son become a professional martial artist that has trained for several years?
Awesome work there Miss Cleo! You could definitely make a lot monies writing fortune cookies.
Everything I've said about kids that are trained to fight having an inflated ego is based on actual observations.
I agree with that. I just don't think the OP should tell his son to physically fight everyone that calls him a name or makes fun of him. This is why I advise focusing more on improving his son’s social acceptability.
That statement was in reference to the OP's son being in "gifted" classes, which I'd assume means he is considered to be smarter than the majority of the students at the school.
this. i personally just choose to not have kids for the "useful servant" reason.
BJJ in its purest form is the best self-defence discipline. There are a lot of BJJ schools pushing sports BJJ only now, which is basically bastardized judo - this is still somewhat useful in a real fight but does not necessarily teach you strike awareness. Pick your instructor carefully. You want a good blend of self-defence and sports jiujitsu.
He probably meant what most normal adults think..that getting beat up by a 12 year old 99% of the time wont kill you. Its hard enough for 135 lb boxers and UFC fighters to knock each other out....its even harder for 95lb 12 year olds.
Not that its impossible, your right...they can use weapons or stomp his head over and over and over if it is some psycho kid..but then again, in that case, there is no real reasoning with a psycho, so you might as well be able to physically defend yourself.
All the more reason to learn how to defend your self and keep your self safe
If someone goes around doing dangerous things without protective gear on...he wont' be alive either and that is what self defense is..its protection against physically dangerous situations.
Every time you try to talk your way out of a fight, and your only depending on your "Charm"...your gambling with your life....not the other way around. Know HOW to defend yourself, does not mean you have to resort to fighting first. You can always talk your way out of a fight and then rely on self defense when that fails.
There are no "immediate solutions" to this problem lol. Are you serious insinuating that you have an immediate solution to his problem? There are no immediate solutions to his problems, but there are immediate benefits.
I'm sick of retyping because you don't seem to graps what you read. He will be training with kids his age, who most likely go to his school and will now have a group of friends that share a common interest with them.
There is a bond you form with guys you train with and become like brothers and this would be great for a kid like this, not only for the friendship but he is not going to get messed with as much hanging with a bunch of friends...especially ones who train as well.
My definition of "skilled" and yours are probably completely different. Like I said, the amount of dedication it takes to become "skilled", the amount of times you have to lose to people better than you, the humbling nature of becoming skilled at fighting opposes the nature and attitude one has as a bully.
ALWAYS? No, you kind find exceptions to any rule and any person...do skilled bullies exist? Probably...but we are talking about things in the "Most likely sense".
There are good looking women that are teachers that have sex with 12 year told students...it exists, rarely..but it happens. That doesn't mean every 12 year old should expect to get a blow job from his math teacher.
Your telling me the bullies are beating them up to "Help the weaker person become aware of their social problems"? Even if that retarded scenario is the case, it still advocates training as a solution.
Learning self defense, you become stronger as a person, physically an mentally. You also interact with a wide range of people in high intense situations which help correct social problems.
We have a kid that has Aspergers at our gym and his mother tells us all the time how it changed his life. Not only did he make friends at our gym, but she said he started making friends AT school, which hes never done in his life....and the kid is in high school.
Having Asperger's makes you incredibly inadequate socially. You have no empathy for people your communicating with and they cant detect if people are interested in what they are saying or not. They also do things like either avoid eye contact or make too much eye contact, etc and this kid totally became a different person.
I speak from experience, I watch Jiu-Jitsu change lives every day...its a fact.
Thats your problem, you think everything is Bruce Lee and ninjas. Your so oblivious to what fighting is that its laughable. You live in some Karate Kid movie with the evil Cobra Kai school of bullies.
You want to talk about laughing, your ridiculous theory that "The more you train in self defense, the more likely your going to die" had me and half the gym rolling.
Or better yet, you theory that your so charming that you can talk your way out of everything lol, you already sound annoying to me...I'm willing to bet there are others out there.
Uh...actually, the way I used it was used correctly since I used it as slang. We do still allow slang in forums, do we not?
Here you go genius - TUFF
MMA isn't a real word either, but you know what I mean...so why don't you try paying attention to the idea behind the words instead of tryin to critique the words chosen. Your missing the point.
Um, exactly...lol. Your the one who told me a person put "Black Belt on his truck" I told you he was full of shit or in a martial art other than what was talking about..You have to be 19 to be a black belt in Jiu-Jitsu and more than likely "out of highschool".
Lol what bullshit ass statistic are you pulling this from lol. We have over 800 students at our school, 300+ are students at some age in school...are you trying to tell me that most of those 300 are bullies? LMFAO, are you kidding me?
Like I said bro, Im no beverly hills ninja..your the one living in Karate Kid, cobra kai fantasy land. I know almost each one of these kids personally, I see the respect they show each other and the way jiu-jitsu has changed them.
I hear it from their parents. I hear it from the moms that tell us about how their kid used jiu-jitsu to stop a bigger kid from fighting him by throwing him with an O Soto Gari and then sitting on top of him with knee on belly and telling the kid to stop picking on everyone or leave.
I've heard it from Kristin Sommers, actually..I'll pull the excerpt from an interview I did with her..
"I was attacked in my sleep in 1999. I awoke to a 6'2", 220lbs man trying to kill me. (Her drunk ex-military/ex-husband) My prior martial arts training definitely saved my life. I was able to escape, but only after being slammed and thrown to the ground a half dozen times in my attempts to get away...."
Don't worry, you've been confused through out most of this conversation because you keep cross talking. YOU said "Most young guys that get into MMA love to try and start fights."
Now try to follow your own logic....If I'm telling the kid to start training MMA for self defense....and you say
"lol. Most young guys that get into MMA love to try and start fights."
...that means your asserting our "victim" is going to start trying to fight people if he starts training?
..to that nonsense I replied, "MOST guys who say they train MMA, and go around picking fights...are not really guys who actually train MMA...they are guys who went to few trial classes, or trained once a week for a few months before they quit just to tell people "I TRAIN MMA".
Making a statement like "Most young guys that get into MMA love to try and start fights." is making an incredibly general statement about a huge group of us. Its ridiculous as saying if you listen to rap your going to eventually sell drugs and do drive bys.
Now, if your going to cross talk, try to remember what your cross talking about..because I DO. I'm not lost, in how lost you are in your own nonsensical ideas about fighting.
*of money
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