I Think I Have the Worst Neighbors Ever

Here's a few ideas my old boss used at one point:

Find the drainage cleanouts for their house (usually at the front in flowerbed) take the lid off and fill with ready-mix cement.

Get his phone number, put an ad in the local paper in the classifieds section.

For Sale: 2008 BMW 525i
Going Through Divorce Must Sell Now. $18,500.
Day sleeper, I work nights, call after 3am.
555-555-1212

His phone will ring off the hook all night, his voicemail will be full daily.

But in all seriousness call Child Protective Services ... those guys will be on those people like stink on rice.
 


i think your fucked.
I had a neighbor problem in the house i grew up in.
It lasted from when i was 7 years old, until the guy died a few years ago. My Dad got into muliple fights with this guy. And they sued us for bullshit reasons at least twice.
Some people get off on shit like that, its weird.
 
Find a place more like this:
http://www.wickedfire.com/shooting-shit/66399-place-live-wide-open-land.html

9qeq36.jpg


I kid... I kid...
;)
 
Deliguy said:
^this.
Whenever someone is being a blatant asshole and don't care enough to stop always stoop down to their level and show em how its done. Calling the cops is a bitch move.
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I caught my neighbors kid popping my tires a month ago.
I had his dad give me $400 for new tires before my insurance covered the replacements.

Then when the kid left a bunch of his toys out one night, I took all of them and threw them in the local lake.
 
You handle assholes like this in a cool and calm fashion.

No need to yell and scream and fuss.

At the minimum you get cameras and audio recorders.


Record video and audio.
Build up a nice backlog of shit that adds to your case.
When you have enough, you call the police, you press charges and you sue.

You get it all documented.
You ignore them when you see them. If it comes to a point where you have to talk to them you look through them and talk to them like you are in a daze.

"I need you to respect my property. This is a warning."

When you yell and scream and blow your top, people tend to think that you are full of shit. When you have a quiet resolve about yourself people start to wonder what you are capable of and they fear pushing you.



When I was growing up my next door neighbors son ( a 25 year old petty crook) broke into my dad's shed and stole his lawn mower.

My dad found out about a week later that the guy was responsible for stealing it. My dad found the guy walking in the neighborhood and commenced to beat the living shit out of him. After the asswhooping he went over to the neighbor's home and told them that he better have a fucking lawnmower on the patio in the morning or this shit was going to escalate really quickly.

My dad is the kind of person that never blows his top, so if he does you better get out of the fucking way or get creamed.

This happend over 20 years ago and it startled me because I had never seen my dad rage like that before. We talked about it about a year ago and this is what he had to say about it.

"Son, I work my ass off and I'm a good citizen. I take care of my family and I provide. I could not belive someone had the audacity to come into my castle and steal from me. It's a slap in the face and the ultimate disrepect. There is no way you can take that sitting down. No man that has worked for what he has will ever take that without a response. "

I wrote all that to say - dude. You need to get your shit together. Dont' let anybody disrespect your castle.
 
If you get videos get the local media on it. They love these "neighbours from hell" stories and will be right over there knocking on their front door.
 
Social services always works a treat, or having someone upstanding in the community like a local pastor speak to the parents
 
shitbrick the dad's car.

let me lay down the theory behind the "shitbrick". just fair warning, this isn't for the weak willed. you will need to shit, piss, and vomit into some sort of bucket or container until you have a pretty decent amount. now what you want to do next is freeze the filth until it is a solid fucking brick of bodily waste. ta-da... you now have what i call the "shitbrick".

next up... find out when the neighbor is going away on a vacation or at least a small trip where their car will be left alone for a few days. the second they leave, you take your shitbrick and you throw it through their back windshield. i don't know what the laws are in your state, but in florida you always go for the back windshield because insurance doesn't cover repairs on the back windshield. anyways, let that brick melt out and sit for a few days in the heat while the family is gone. when they get back and open the car they will never be the same...

if you don't want to slum as low as it takes to do a shitbrick, you could get your hands on some thermite. put the thermite in a soda can, put it on top of the hood of the guys car and ignite it. sit back and laugh as the molten thermite burns at 3500 degrees right through his engine and into the ground.
 
Dont do anything stupid. There are a bunch of guys here with HUGE e-cocks who probably wouldnt actually do the things they recommend.

It sounds like you're in a great position; you have the means to document their actions and they have assets they value and wouldnt want to lose. Record their actions and let them know that you are doing so. That alone should deal with the issue. If it doesnt, you have the ability to press charges against the family and since they must have some assets (if the own the house) you can collect something from them.

It's a ton of fun to think about all kinds of ways to fuck with people as revenge but in the end we live in the real world and electrocuting a minor or assaulting them or their parents will ALWAYS end badly for you if you're not Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa.
 
slickcooldude said:
shitbrick the dad's car.

let me lay down the theory behind the "shitbrick". just fair warning, this isn't for the weak willed. you will need to shit, piss, and vomit into some sort of bucket or container until you have a pretty decent amount. now what you want to do next is freeze the filth until it is a solid fucking brick of bodily waste. ta-da... you now have what i call the "shitbrick".

next up... find out when the neighbor is going away on a vacation or at least a small trip where their car will be left alone for a few days. the second they leave, you take your shitbrick and you throw it through their back windshield. i don't know what the laws are in your state, but in florida you always go for the back windshield because insurance doesn't cover repairs on the back windshield. anyways, let that brick melt out and sit for a few days in the heat while the family is gone. when they get back and open the car they will never be the same...

if you don't want to slum as low as it takes to do a shitbrick, you could get your hands on some thermite. put the thermite in a soda can, put it on top of the hood of the guys car and ignite it. sit back and laugh as the molten thermite burns at 3500 degrees right through his engine and into the ground.
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or piss disk that shit
images
 
I'm gonna go with contaminating either their water or food supply with datura
 
cheshire said:
Here's a few ideas my old boss used at one point:

Find the drainage cleanouts for their house (usually at the front in flowerbed) take the lid off and fill with ready-mix cement.

Get his phone number, put an ad in the local paper in the classifieds section.

For Sale: 2008 BMW 525i
Going Through Divorce Must Sell Now. $18,500.
Day sleeper, I work nights, call after 3am.
555-555-1212

His phone will ring off the hook all night, his voicemail will be full daily.

But in all seriousness call Child Protective Services ... those guys will be on those people like stink on rice.
Click to expand...

This is fucking golden, we used to pull pranks on each other growing up. The killer day was when somebody put up an ad for german sheperds on my name. I had 50+ calls that day. I can tell you right now the fun stops after call number three then you want to shoot yourself. it usally keeps ringing for one to two weeks.

If you want to top it up put in a personal a instead. Its my last prank I put up an ad for my friend that he was looking for other men to teach him. I also made sure to get his msn and cellphone number in there... BOYAH!! took about 10 minutes until he got the first perv showing his dick in webcam. Meanwhile other perverts sending him dirty text telling him how they are gonna ram him hard...
needless to say he didnt appreciate it, it would probably pis off your neighbor too....
 
Guard your house. Give warning shot if they cross the lawn. Put barb wire. If that doesn't scare them, just shoot.

Make it clear that you're on the edge.

Remember, love thy neighbor like you love thy self. Just like you expect to be shot if you sue them, it's fine to shot them I guess if the political cost is zero.
 
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