You have a near-stress/work related breakdown, second one in five years. That should do it. Oh, and you also have to be suffering from manic depression on a hardcore scale. Also throw in some lack of loyalty from lots of your friends and peers, two years of solid criticism and lots of other bullshit, and eventually you'll become an apathetic asshole, which will cause you to write run on sentences like this one and make you want to sucker punch just about anyone in their jugular who rubs you the wrong way...
Yep, that'll do it alright. But it was a VERY close miss. Nothing like the one I suffered in 2003. This is the life when you're a workaholic I suppose. Whatever, I can't believe I'm so fucking open about it now. These new meds must really be working. Haha!