Why Did You Get Married?

sperm wars

why does anyone get married? because they think they're maximizing their odds for reproductive success.

it's science - here, read this:

[ame=http://www.amazon.com/Sperm-Wars-Science-Robin-Baker/dp/0788160044]Amazon.com: Sperm Wars: The Science of Sex (9780788160042): Robin Baker: Books[/ame]
 


turbolapp said:
People need people. (que Barbara) It's just the way it is.
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Totally agree with this, but what does it have to do with marriage?

I think people get married in order to conform, because there mates / parents etc did. You can be with someone and never get married just fine, in a lot of ways you need more commitment to be in that position.
 
guerilla said:
I'm not a big fan of psychology because I think it creates a very narrow view of the human experience. It's frequently a justification for social determinism.

That's not to say that psychological phenomenon doesn't exist, but I'm a methodological individualist. I work with models at their simplest level, not some macro aggregation which can end up completely divorced from human action.

Everyone is different. Nearly everyone (if not everyone) is capable of overcoming the moods and perspectives of the herd if they choose to.

Psychology can inform us about the general, but tells us little about the specific. And the specific is where the power of understanding lies. As online marketers who target long tails, and work micro-niches extra hard, we understand how important differentiation is.
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Put this down for the 597th topic to discuss with you one day when we finally sit down to have that beer.
 
turbolapp said:
How bout if you don't find a partner YOU WILL DIE! DUHN DUHN DUHNNNNNN Never-Married Penalty: Early Death? - CBS News
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I'm gonna DIE?!?!

shocked-woman_aa039975.jpg


JK :D

Look at it this way, just as some of you guys may beat the odds and have a long happy marriage, maybe I'll beat the odds and live on and become an old ass bachelor, with a closet full of purple and green suits and pimp hats.

Listen, I'm not a proponent of marriage per se, but I do believe in the basic human psychology that shapes us. You can fight it but when you do there are consequences. (unfulfillment, sickness, death)
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I agree with this too, but I also think guerilla brought up some great points about individualism. It depends on ones outlook of life and how they handle social situations, especially emotionally.
 
BluuueJammm said:
Totally agree with this, but what does it have to do with marriage?
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Nothing. It was in response to bluerap's position on commitment being unnatural, not to OP.

For the record, I agree that it's a conflicting paradox to have natural need to spread your seed and also have natural need for a solid and deep connections to one person. My point is that you are probably healthier overall if you go with the latter because you are usually still getting the former in there too even if it's just on a smaller scale (multiple children).

edit: just saw your addition bluerap and you (and guerrilla) are right. Individual carefully calculated decisions are an important factor too. As I said before, figure out what truly makes you happy and as long as it's not whatever preconceived notion has been feed to you, or worse, you feed yourself, you'll be just fine.
 
guerilla said:
I'm not a big fan of psychology because I think it creates a very narrow view of the human experience. It's frequently a justification for social determinism.

That's not to say that psychological phenomenon doesn't exist, but I'm a methodological individualist. I work with models at their simplest level, not some macro aggregation which can end up completely divorced from human action.

Everyone is different. Nearly everyone (if not everyone) is capable of overcoming the moods and perspectives of the herd if they choose to.

Psychology can inform us about the general, but tells us little about the specific. And the specific is where the power of understanding lies. As online marketers who target long tails, and work micro-niches extra hard, we understand how important differentiation is.
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Ah, some more pseudo-intellectual bullshit.
 
ms*jedz said:
im not yet married, but im looking forward to that.

for every situation there are cons and pros, and for me it's just a usual things if married couple encountered problems that will end up the relationship. That depends on the person on how they manage to fix these things. If there's LOVE, I think everything will be settled. :)
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Anyone else feeling leery how women always respond with absolute blindness to everything males brought up in marriage debates, and just keep on blabbing about love this, and mutual management that???

What the fuck. It's like observing a shut-in, brainwashed Chinese.

Woman -- 'Love' is the LAST of our worries when signing -socioeconomically- your contract!
 
A quick tangent on how men and women interact with each other, and how that interaction influences a relationship...

I was speaking with a buddy a few weeks ago. He told me about something Gore Vidal had mentioned in an interview. Vidal had attended a benefit at which Paul Newman and his wife, Joanne Woodward, were being honored. He asked Newman, "How have you two managed to stay together for so long?"

Newman replied, "Because Joanne and I have absolutely nothing in common."

Interesting, given that so many people make statements, like "Oh, they have so much in common! They'll be great together." Meanwhile, the divorce rate continues to rise.

I realize this has absolutely nothing to do with my original question. But, as with most topics on WF, the ripples that extend from the stone's epicenter are often just as interesting.
 
onlinemoniez said:
You made me realize that I would marry a chick who does IM, and ONLY a chick who does IM.

Most of my misogynistic tendencies come from the chicks that I know. Most of them are lazy sacks of shit who don't want to do anything and are simply looking to marry their way up the socioeconomic ladder. They are ALL gold diggers, and they are proud of it. They somehow think that they deserve money despite not doing anything to earn it. I work my fucking ass off to make my money, and to think that a woman can simply enter into a contract with no legal consideration other than the fact that she married, and have equal access to someone else s money absolutely appalls me. If you want money, fucking earn it. My entire generation is replete with the laziest, most entitled fucks in history. It's fucking disgusting.
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+rep, well said

turbolapp said:
Be prepared for a forward thinking non-traditional woman though. If she's a hard working entrepreneur she's not going to sit around and make you sandwiches everyday. I know some of you guys get disillusioned when you try to have it both ways. :D

The point is realize what it is you REALLY want, not what you think you're supposed to want and then marry it.
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True, been there too. Unfortunately it is hard to find both in one... Hard-driving chicks can be a nightmare to deal with.

Damn, there is no winning for men!

evelynds said:
Anyone else feeling leery how women always respond with absolute blindness to everything males brought up in marriage debates, and just keep on blabbing about love this, and mutual management that???

What the fuck. It's like observing a shut-in, brainwashed Chinese.

Woman -- 'Love' is the LAST of our worries when signing -socioeconomically- your contract!
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Yes, fuck it!
 
btw I won't publish any names...... but I know a few guys on this forum are into D/s relationships...... personally I'm not into that scene at all, but from a modern relationship-risk point of view I must say these guys have the most solid, under control type of understanding between them and their wife. Bravo to you guys for pulling that off.
 
Married? Psh, I don't even know how I'll be able to do that, most girls I know are fake, manipulative, and users, so I'd rather stay away.
 
Humans are incredible conformist, need not look further than the Standford prison experiments to realize this fact. Most people I know who are married/getting married have done just that. They've conformed and can't imagine themselves any other way, whether any other way is better or worse is completely irrelevant.

It's the same reason people stay at shitty jobs, put up with shit they shouldn't, or believe they're capable of so little. The longer you feel like taking action without taking action, destroys your very ability to take action. It's harder to re-work what you spent years yourself conditioning to believe than simply to live that lie.

For men, evolution came before marriage, long before - and nothing will ever change that. There's no such thing as a perfect girl(or man), there's only what you're willing to settle for. Same goes for life, business or anything in between.

It boils down to a few very simple questions,

Settle or Strive?
Restrict or Permit?
Conform or Develop?

All that being said, I still see myself settling down at one point but in a radically different way than society's norm, and not likely before 40+ years of age. Freedom of time, choice and mind are just too precious to give up before that.
 
zimok said:
All that being said, I still see myself settling down at one point but in a radically different way than society's norm, and not likely before 40+ years of age. Freedom of time, choice and mind are just too precious to give up before that.
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Word.
 
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