You need to work these things out in silence, not a public online forum where we don't give a fuck about you
how do you convince yourself to do something?
- Thread starter patates
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You need to work these things out in silence, not a public online forum where we don't give a fuck about you
I don't get how you can pack your shit up, go to the airport, go straight to the airline attendant, she has some nice knockers, her button is right about to pop, you give her your CC, and say, I would like to go to Mexico, she takes your credit card with her soft hands, she swipes the credit card, it gets DECLINED.
Don't worry man, just pack your shit up, WF will take care of all your bills/payments/alimony/child support/, hell, we will make JON your stepdad
You've never been 20, single, and living out of an apartment before, with decent money coming in?
I'm in my 30s now, and I'm considered a senior citizen on WF now, considering the average age of posters.
I went through a rough patch several years ago. My best friend at the time died of a drug overdose that was almost a suicide (he was trying to wreck himself) and my father's heart stopped, incurring massive brain damage, all in the same week.
I ended up closing my business, liquidating everything, trying to help my family until I could see the bottom of my bank account.
I spent the next couple years going through the motions of working hard, but I was lost. I didn't really know what to do with myself, what direction to strike out in. I felt alone (not lonely, but just alone), uninspired, drifting through each day, usually without any sort of momentum or progress towards anything.
I felt powerless to help the people I cared about. And that sense of impotence as a son really undermined any sense of worth I felt I had. Because for better or worse, I had always defined myself by what I could do, usually to help others. My strength always seemed to be my capacity to be effective, and in most cases, simply outwork any problems that came my way.
I eventually hit rock bottom. I didn't see the point in anything. I didn't have any hope, I wouldn't entertain any dreams. I wasn't sad, I had just given up.
What changed for me was I came up with an idea. What I like to call a "positive vision of the future".
I decided that no matter what was happening in my life, by the time I turned 41, whether I was rich or poor, sick or healthy, I was going to travel. If I had to work my way across the pacific on a boat, I was going to see Asia. Nowhere specific, and for no specific time. Just on Nov 1 2016, my life was going to take a new direction. And I had allowed myself enough time between the formation of this vision and it's realization, I felt I could give a good crack at meeting the responsibilities that had overwhelmed me in the present.
That's the thing about a positive vision. It is abstract. It doesn't require a ton of specifics, it's simply a way of seeing a future you, in a different circumstance, which feels attainable. My plan to travel seemed very attainable since I wasn't expecting to do it first class.
Did that happen? Did I end up traveling? Not yet. I'm only 38 and my positive vision has moved to being retired at 45. But that initial vision gave me what I felt would be enough time to get my life together, to be effective and to take some baby steps towards the larger goal.
So OP, what I would say to you is, get out of the house. Walk or ride a bike, or cab it or drive to a park. Maybe get a happy meal on the way. Go sit in that park. Just look around and have something to eat.
And think about where you might be in 5 years. Where would you like to be? What would make you happy.
If what you can come up with is attainable (no you're not going to be rich and dating a supermodel) then you're halfway there. You've got a direction, and maybe some hope and best of all, it seems possible.
You can adjust that positive vision of your future any time.
What's important, is that you are never without one.
That was my experience. YMMV.
I ended up closing my business, liquidating everything, trying to help my family until I could see the bottom of my bank account.
I spent the next couple years going through the motions of working hard, but I was lost. I didn't really know what to do with myself, what direction to strike out in. I felt alone (not lonely, but just alone), uninspired, drifting through each day, usually without any sort of momentum or progress towards anything.
I felt powerless to help the people I cared about. And that sense of impotence as a son really undermined any sense of worth I felt I had. Because for better or worse, I had always defined myself by what I could do, usually to help others. My strength always seemed to be my capacity to be effective, and in most cases, simply outwork any problems that came my way.
I eventually hit rock bottom. I didn't see the point in anything. I didn't have any hope, I wouldn't entertain any dreams. I wasn't sad, I had just given up.
What changed for me was I came up with an idea. What I like to call a "positive vision of the future".
I decided that no matter what was happening in my life, by the time I turned 41, whether I was rich or poor, sick or healthy, I was going to travel. If I had to work my way across the pacific on a boat, I was going to see Asia. Nowhere specific, and for no specific time. Just on Nov 1 2016, my life was going to take a new direction. And I had allowed myself enough time between the formation of this vision and it's realization, I felt I could give a good crack at meeting the responsibilities that had overwhelmed me in the present.
That's the thing about a positive vision. It is abstract. It doesn't require a ton of specifics, it's simply a way of seeing a future you, in a different circumstance, which feels attainable. My plan to travel seemed very attainable since I wasn't expecting to do it first class.
Did that happen? Did I end up traveling? Not yet. I'm only 38 and my positive vision has moved to being retired at 45. But that initial vision gave me what I felt would be enough time to get my life together, to be effective and to take some baby steps towards the larger goal.
So OP, what I would say to you is, get out of the house. Walk or ride a bike, or cab it or drive to a park. Maybe get a happy meal on the way. Go sit in that park. Just look around and have something to eat.
And think about where you might be in 5 years. Where would you like to be? What would make you happy.
If what you can come up with is attainable (no you're not going to be rich and dating a supermodel) then you're halfway there. You've got a direction, and maybe some hope and best of all, it seems possible.
You can adjust that positive vision of your future any time.
What's important, is that you are never without one.
That was my experience. YMMV.
Good idea. How?
Thank you for the advice and sharing. I will try that.
Incrementally do the opposite of everything you listed. I'm completely serious.
You're looking at motivation when you don't have the basics of your life in order. Once you're eating healthy and proportionally, sleeping on a schedule, you'll have the discipline to give a fuck about doing something for your future, and the energy to reconnect with people important to you.
After you out the above will you be able to ask yourself this question,
What does the gift of not regretting your life contain?
Then you'll need to break it down further for it to be useful,
What does the gift(spectrum of possible actions) of not regretting your minute/hour/day/year/decade/life contain?
It's your life man. You can decide to quit what you're doing and go back to school. Travel around the world and sleep with a different woman in every city. Become an artist. Start a foundation. Climb Everest.
Or maybe just pay off your mortgage and work part time at a bowling alley.
Any direction is as good as any other, as long as
(1) it interests you a little
(2) it seems a bit better than your current circumstances.
Pick a spot (any spot) on the horizon and move towards it. Your scenery WILL CHANGE.
Enjoy your McNuggets.
+1
I went through exactly the same thing as you for over a year and am getting out of it now. If you can still be totally ineffective while going to sleep before midnight every night, waking up by 8am every day, eating 3 meals a day on a regular schedule, and exercising at least 20 minutes 3-4x a week, then you're fucked.
But until you're doing all those things, you need to stop bitching.
I need to add though, there may be something in your life (a bad relationship, a friend who's bringing you down with his laziness/drug use, a feeling of being stuck in something you can't control--like a shitty job) that's bringing you down as well.
You need to cut that shit out, whatever it is. It's dragging you down. Break up, move, stop hanging out, quit, do whatever it takes to distance yourself from that negative influence. You need to blow up your life a little or else it will corrode slowly until you hit rock bottom.
Workout.
Also this: Realize the insanity of repeating the same behavior and expecting different results.
The next time you feel like being a lazy piece of shit, do it. But make sure you're consciously aware of how you feel immediately afterwards.
Go buy a 12-piece fried chicken dinner. Eat it all and down it with coke. Jack off for the 4th time that day. Lay around in bed checking social media before turning on Netflix and scraping resin out of your out of your bong in a desperate attempt to numb your boredom and self-loathing. Then jack off again. Look at the clock. Does it say 4:30am? Good. Jack off one more time until you cum nothing but pure sadness.
How does it feel? Is it worth it?
After consciously doing this for another few weeks, you'll hopefully feel so disgusted with your shitty routine that ANYTHING will feel better than doing the norm.
At that point, do something out of the ordinary.
Workout.
Also this: Realize the insanity of repeating the same behavior and expecting different results.
The next time you feel like being a lazy piece of shit, do it. But make sure you're consciously aware of how you feel immediately afterwards.
Go buy a 12-piece fried chicken dinner. Eat it all and down it with coke. Jack off for the 4th time that day. Lay around in bed checking social media before turning on Netflix and scraping resin out of your out of your bong in a desperate attempt to numb your boredom and self-loathing. Then jack off again. Look at the clock. Does it say 4:30am? Good. Jack off one more time until you cum nothing but pure sadness.
How does it feel? Is it worth it?
After consciously doing this for another few weeks, you'll hopefully feel so disgusted with your shitty routine that ANYTHING will feel better than doing the norm.
At that point, do something out of the ordinary.
Workout.
In the past I used NLP. Tony Robbins book Ultimate Power had a major impact on my life. I found it to be very practical and something like that would give you the tools to achieve the kind of turn around guerrilla described.
Sounds like you're a long way from self-actualisation goals though so consider finding someone tough and demanding to hold you to account. Shame and embarrassment can be good motivators if you're needing to drag yourself out of the slime.
Sounds like you're a long way from self-actualisation goals though so consider finding someone tough and demanding to hold you to account. Shame and embarrassment can be good motivators if you're needing to drag yourself out of the slime.
Dont think I wanna be rich, Think of a certain Things. Don't think too small. Big people never think small, why ? Because when you think bog, other problems in your life just looks too small and easy to solve, cause you have that BIG IDEA of yours you need to finish and thats your headache.
How can you convince your self to do things ? Now you are eating shit food,gaining weight and feeling clumsy. There's light in your head already asking to change things. SO you gotta get out and do some grocery shopping, get some cooking recipe, make the food and eat healthy. What if you don't do it ? You won't eat nuggets, chicken wings or any other crap out there. Stay hungry,make your self hungry, make your body,brain cook, do things. Make it a fucking habit.
If you are not broke,yet. Give all your saving to family, pay for next 2-3 months rent and leave for just food and gas. Once you have your bank account empty, you will be forced to do something. Same as a drug addict, once they need another dosage, they go and find it. You must find your drug.
No man, just.. no. He deserves a better reply than that. A man who has no connection to you whatsoever, is helping you out by outting the hard parts of his life (not very easy doing that) that not many people would do, just to give you a bit of direction; hoping to helping you out. I think thats enough emotional determination for me to get my ass out there. Heck, i'm even gonna go buy a bike NOW and ride to the beach!
Thanks Guerilla. I love my life, but you just made me realise its value.