A Perfect Husband?

I got married when I was 22, so not sure why so many people are against getting married at 21. Obviously, it's not something you go into on a whim. I guess the difference is knew what I was doing, and made sure I was being realistic going into it. My wife approached it the same way. That's probably why we're still happy after 6 years, we both work from home, so we're together practically 24/7. I'm surprised at how many people cringe at the thought of spending that much time with their SO.

The red flag here is, she waited until after you were married to discuss this? Isn't that what we call a bait and switch? Your girlfriend is awesome, you marry her, then she starts to try to control you?

The remedy to that is to discuss your lifestyles before getting married, be realistic. You are going to have fights, its inevitable. Be honest with each other how you see each other handling those situations, and how you both feel about your reactions. I guess its a little late for that advice for you now.

It's never too late to put your foot down either. What's she going to do about it? Leave you? Doubt it. If she really loves you, she won't care if you change for her. If she leaves, she wasn't in love with you, she was in love with the fantasy guy she was going to try to turn you into.

Well, she *thinks* she's in love with the fantasy guy she envisions you becoming. Truth is, if you submit to every whim, she's going to begin to view you as spineless. Then she will leave you anyways, and do the same thing with the next guy. Then wonder 20 years down the road why she's been married 6 times.

Guys do the same thing. It's a big reason why people who have been divorced are much more likely to get divorced again and again.
 
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haha, good luck mate - just tell her you ain't change yourself than tell her she is the most beautiful woman on the Earth.

If she really loves you she gonna kiss ^^ you (not there pervs :D)
 
In my opinion the reason a lot of people have these kinds of problems is because they don't talk about this kind of stuff before getting married. All they care about is having a good time. You've got to talk about some serious stuff to make sure you're on the same page before you get married.
 
Before you decide what to do....you need to look seriously at the things that you are being requested to stop doing. Ask yourself if any of them are interfering in you being a productive person, a good family member, a good husband, a good friend etc. ? If no...let her know who she married is who she's got. If yes...thank her for giving you the push you need to make changes that will make you a better person.

Change for yourself otherwise it won't last. If you're afraid of her leaving, changing won't stop it from happening...it's just going to postpone it. It'll hurt more later if she leaves than if she leaves now and by then there may be little ones that will be hurt too.

Who knows, if you don't change she might just decide to accept it and life will go on like it did before you were married when she accepted you as you are.
 
Jan said:
Before you decide what to do....you need to look seriously at the things that you are being requested to stop doing. Ask yourself if any of them are interfering in you being a productive person, a good family member, a good husband, a good friend etc. ? If no...let her know who she married is who she's got. If yes...thank her for giving you the push you need to make changes that will make you a better person.

Change for yourself otherwise it won't last. If you're afraid of her leaving, changing won't stop it from happening...it's just going to postpone it. It'll hurt more later if she leaves than if she leaves now and by then there may be little ones that will be hurt too.

Who knows, if you don't change she might just decide to accept it and life will go on like it did before you were married when she accepted you as you are.
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This

Shawn Collins said:
Changes you resent are not good changes.

IMO, this should have been covered before you got married, but that's besides the point.

Have that talk now and tell her how you feel, instead of a bunch of clowns here.
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and This
 
So you're married 3 days and she pulls that shit on you? Annulment dude. Any self respecting judge will understand.

blogspotter said:
Give yourself enough spaces. And "make love" everyday.
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Lovemaking: What she does while you're fucking her.
 
What's the movie with an old Clint Eastwood teaching the neighbor Hmong boy to "man up"? Dude, you need to man up.
 
Let's throw the hedonism out and take the practical veiw.

Unless your in the wine/liquior/beer business, how much are you earning when you are drinking or smoking? If your making a deal, it is doubtful that you drinking water at that deal would kill the deal...

Just a thought. There is good and bad with being single and married. You married very young, but it is hard work, and don't give up without trying to make it work.. Maybe she sees your partying as intefering with serious ambitions, women are pretty adept in that area....

I would cut 80 percent out of my past excesses if I had to put a number on it, time seemed endless then, I wasted some good days/weeks, whatever, I had fun but could have been more focused...
 
Dumbass said:
Let's throw the hedonism out and take the practical veiw.

Unless your in the wine/liquior/beer business, how much are you earning when you are drinking or smoking? If your making a deal, it is doubtful that you drinking water at that deal would kill the deal...

Just a thought. There is good and bad with being single and married. You married very young, but it is hard work, and don't give up without trying to make it work.. Maybe she sees your partying as intefering with serious ambitions, women are pretty adept in that area....

I would cut 80 percent out of my past excesses if I had to put a number on it, time seemed endless then, I wasted some good days/weeks, whatever, I had fun but could have been more focused...
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What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul
 
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Co'z I'm going to be a father and I'm responsible fucker I don't leave my mess.
That's why dude I don't just fuck but we also have to be responsible.

Why the fuck would anyone get married in their 20s?

I'm all for marriage and all, but you need to live a little first, dawg.

This ain't the middle ages.
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Kyle4hire said:
Last July 30, 2011 was my wedding :liebe028: and yet I'm still young 21 years old guy. My wife asked me not to drink anymore, smoke :pimp: and hangout with my friends often . I just wondering if anyone here was also in the same place with me.

How would you react?:love-smiley-005:
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Kyle, that I call classic woman trap. She will test you always to find how many she can control you. I am in relationship 11 years and in marriage 2,5 years. You can't be soft in these things, but direct fight is not answer. You could say that you know that alcohol and smoking are not good for health and you'll try to quit with time - when you decide, not her. But, never loose friends because she said so. That will give her more control in your life and that is the last thing what you need in life, trust me.

Whole point of relationship and marriage is to keep the balance. You must stay yours and love your woman exactly as she is. When she accept this it will be much easier in your marriage. You must work on this, but she will constantly try to control your life, that is in every woman's nature.
 
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