Got Depression?

i have never shared this with the board but given the subject being discussed ill do it now.

My dad offed himself in February
. He had $$$, health, hobbies, time to do whatever he wanted and about everything else. Yet he still did it.

One thing he did have too was a lot of regrets. Regrets of not doing this and not doing that.

My advice: do what you want to do.. NOW. No regrets is key.

Fucking up often is the best thing you can do while alive.

I'm sorry that happened man, my condolences.

What you said is true even though most people discard it because it has almost become a cliche. If I think about one thing that'd make me feel depressed when I'm old is having regrets of not doing things, not going for my goals, not taking risk.

Hope you're doing well.
 


It's not really a case of my being displeased with any of the details of my life, I think that a lot of people would be very happy to have the kind of life that I have. It's like some sort of spiritual ennui or something. I've had it since I was a child, and it's definitely worse in the summertime.

I keep standing on my front porch thinking about the revolting sameness of everything, and while I'm not sad, or unhappy, I'm not really present, either.

Sounds like it's time for you to build a rocket and travel to space. Either that or go play duduk in a birch tree near a river
 
It's not surprising that those of us who actually think about existence and life often end up sickened by it.

After being in existential and nihilistic malaise for so long I think there's probably only a few ways out.

One way is the avoidance of thinking about those things - somehow be less introspective. Somehow avoid negative thoughts. Some people are great at this and others are not. Distractions are a great way to exercise avoidance of thought (sex, drugs, working hard, programming, research, etc) anything to keep your mind occupied. I find it extremely difficult to consistently avoid thinking about reality though. I could write a book on the disgusting scenario we're in but it sounds like many of you already realize it.

Another way is denial of reality. Lets face it, this topic is likely filled with fellow atheists.. although even some religious existentialists suffered from malaise - like Kierkegaard. Anyway, the easiest way to get over a harsh truth is to deny it exists <cough> religion <cough> the soul <cough>. But there are many other ways to deny this shit too. As much as I love Futurists and Transhumanists I have to say that many of them think technology will be their new savior. This lets them go through life almost as easily as a religious person. If you look at futurist's past predictions they're almost as bad as religious prophets. They are almost always too optimistic about our future progress and humanity in general. It's like they forget we're not far removed from apes.. still competing for that pussy.. still bashing each-other over the head for limited food and resources, still trying to show we're better than the others, etc. It's not likely anyone today will live forever through tech. Not to mention, true infinite immortality is not really possible for physical beings.

Placebo is another route to happiness. People love them a short, pithy bullet-point list of self-help nonsense. If following those bullet points helped these guys, then it can help me too right?! Sure probably, if you believe it can. People can feel better just by following some ritual that supposedly has helped others feel better. I wish I was one of those people sometimes.

Enjoy the Fucking Game. This is what I try to do. Don't let others tell you that you should look at the world in a certain way.. or how you should feel about the human condition. Look at this shitty situation that we're all in and feel the hate if you want to. Enjoy the fucking hate. Hate is invigorating and keeps you warm at night. Nothing will motivate you like hate. Hate is our natural way of dealing with fear and depression. It's how we mentally fight terrible circumstances without using avoidance, denial, or placebo. And what could be more terrible than accumulating wealth and knowledge for a lifetime only for it to be completely destroyed by death? Death to all fucks who say you should avoid negative emotion!

Many problems don't have solutions.. so stop thinking you'll always find one.

'Wellness' is a farce made up by fags who want to make sure people keep behaving as docile sheep.

That's it, I'm writing a book called 'Better Living Through Hate'.

Hah, but I'm not really saying everyone should be a hater.. I'm saying don't avoid the emotion or think it's bad. Same with depression, if you prefer being depressed about something then there's nothing fucking wrong with you.. some shit is just god damn depressing. Do not be ashamed of negative emotions.. and half of your problem is gone.


TL;DR

LtZum
 
I'm sorry that happened man, my condolences.

What you said is true even though most people discard it because it has almost become a cliche. If I think about one thing that'd make me feel depressed when I'm old is having regrets of not doing things, not going for my goals, not taking risk.

Hope you're doing well.

What a fucking self centered, selfish mindset. Think about all the young children and people who never had a chance to even live life. Think about the innocent prisoners that spends countless years behind bars for crimes they didn't commit. Think about how much better your life is than 95% of the people that have ever lived. Think about going through life with a serious mental or physical illness.

But guess what, they are happier than you. Wanna know what the secret is? Gratitude. Be thankful you even have this brief moment on earth and wake up every day praising [insert deity].
 
I had it pretty bad back then. I still do have it to some extent.

I don't know if anyone here has the same problem, but I find that it's directly related to the way I'm able to feel emotions and my cognitive ability. If I cannot fully comprehend my own thoughts, then I cannot get in a positive mood. I know what my thoughts are saying. I can understand them, but they won't sink into my brain if, for example, I miss a dose a protein powder the day before (a certain brand that has a good amount of tryptophan and tyrosine), don't get a good amount of sleep or lack sunlight in the day. After about a decade trying to figure out what the problem is, I figured out the majority but never this part.

I have tried some SSRI's in my late teens, but they only helped with the anxiety for the most part and NOT the depression. Fish oil and vitamin D helped me a lot.

I'd say meditation has helped but only with the help of the supplements above. Meditation keeps your mind clear, but it doesn't really allow you to go beyond the threshold of attaining a higher "state" of positivity like some supplements do. Synergistically, it's amazing.
 
If you want to be positive and happy, reconcile psychological issues. I don't see shortcuts around that unless you want to chemically lobotomize.

Addiction, depression or any other malady that affects our ability to exercise self-control, perceive reality as it is, and our limits within that reality, firewalls us from acceptance.

That acceptance (of how things are and have been) allows us to shed a lot of pain/guilt and move on.

Heaven forbid any of you live a long life and off yourself due to regret. You can't change the past, but you can certainly guarantee yourself no future.

(not judging, just saying)

All we control is what we do NEXT. Whatever shit you're in, no matter how bad your relationships, your next action can be the one that improves your lot. Will you take it? Will you even consider it?

If not, you cannot move forward. Depression is a trap that pulls us down until we no longer have the will, creativity or energy to take that one step that can turn everything around.
 
Diet - get blood work done to see if you're low on anything. Follow the juicer thread, if we eat like shit, we feel like shit.

Exercise - I haven't rode a mountain bike since high school and recently bought one after a friend mentioned it a bunch of times. We did some pretty whack trails in the woods and I have to say I couldn't stop smiling or bursting out laughing after riding around corners or doing lame little jumps - basically I'm instantly a kid when I get on and start riding. The other thing, try being depressed when you're doing down hill - IMPOSSIBLE! This shit forces you to stay focused or you pay for it physically. I've done/practiced A LOT with walking mindfulness in the woods- it's hard because it's SO EASY to go back into your head.

Exercise - You don't need a lot to get a lot. I basically made a game out of it where I have different routines which earn me different points and then I jot it down when I'm done on my phone and it always feels like an accomplishment... looking back I missed less than 5 days in 4 months. Weekends are off.

Regular sleep is soooooo fucking important. So is giving yourself extra time for everything so you never feel rushed - usually 10-15 minutes is all it takes.

Feel empathetic for those less fortunate and forgive people around you. Don't mistake malice for retardation. (bad drivers for example)

I got more, but I gotta go for now.
 
this guy can effectively ride two horses at once...

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGohF2pOXUE]guy riding two horses at once - YouTube[/ame]
 
You should get your testosterone checked out, I heard if you have low T you will get more emotional and depressed.
 
Do something to take your mind off the depression, like a road trip, or loud music. To me it seems that doing something to mentally stimulate yourself really helps in situations like this. Even if you just take a road trip somewhere and change your surroundings for a week or two, that's mentally stimulating to a large degree.
 
So basically the underlining problem all you gay webmasters are dealing with is "in the grand scheme of things, anything I accomplish or do, doesn't really matter"

Sounds pretty awesome to me.

You can either take it as oh why bother to do anything, it doesn't matter anyway.

Or you can take it as, holy shit, I can do whatever the fuck I want. Ya I think I'll do that cause I feel like it or oh lets try this or oh I wonder if I can accomplish that. It's my life to live I get to make the choices. And if I make a "mistake", who gives a fuck, doesn't matter anyway.

Just think for a second. You're God. You get to create a world lifeforms will inhabit. How do you set it up, what world would you create? Would you setup things any differently then this world? I mean if you think about it, this world could have been a shit ton worse. You could A: not have the ability of choice, or only choice in certain circumstances. B: Things you did "mattered" on a grand scale, so you have to constantly be wary about each action you make. C: No pain or loss in the world (you think you have problems now with thinking oh why bother doing anything, nothing matters - just think how much of a hard time you would have with that thought if there was also no pain or loss in the world, it would be boring as fuck with no real feeling of being alive or feeling of risk). D: No self awareness

I don't know bros, I think this world was made in a pretty fucking awesome way. It gets me excited just thinking about how interesting the way this world is setup and how well it works. I'm not sure that I would change anything. Anytime I think, well I would change X. I soon realize well X actually helped me grow as as a person and realize X. I wouldn't take out suffering, the only times I have ever really grown as a person was through points I "suffered". To me looking at it, everything is really masterfully setup to constantly challenge me. It's all about self discovery and this world is setup in a way that you get to choose the path you take for that self discovery.

That's my take. But of course everyone has their own opinion, and that's the beautiful thing, you get to have your own opinion. You make your own choices. You get to write a long post disagreeing with me if you want, you get to be sad if you want to, you get to just focus on what you think is negative if you want. It's up to you and that's awesome. If you had the power to change anything, would you?

In the grand scheme of things. You're life is pointless. You're life means nothing. And that's what sets you free.
 
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In the grand scheme of things. You're life is pointless. You're life means nothing. And that's what sets you free.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

+rep

But wait, if this is true, then how can I feel sorry for myself and adopt victim psychology to justify why I can't handle freedom? :(
 
But wait, if this is true, then how can I feel sorry for myself and adopt victim psychology to justify why I can't handle freedom? :(

Exactly ;-).

See you've made it so far by getting to this point of understanding. Many of us get stuck here though. We feel like we're just so different then everyone else, "they" don't understand what we understand and "they" just continue to be "cogs in the wheel". We feel removed from everything. We see life as meaningless. We see life "for what it truly is". We even wish we were ignorant like we used to be, or as we see others to be, so we can feel that "ignorant bliss" we imagine them having. But they don't really have ignorant bliss, their lives are a constant roller coaster that they have no control over. They let their emotions go up and down violently as each change comes to them. They have such a long path of self discovery ahead of them compared to you.

You're so close. You're just one step away from the other side of the coin.

It's amazing that nothing matters. I'm free to do as I please.

Would you have it any other way?

And if you wouldn't. If you can really think about it and come to the realization that you wouldn't change a thing about how this world works. If you can see how each piece of this world is crucial to helping you grow. Then that means that out of all the possible worlds we could be living in, out of all the possibilities, we ended up in this one, which is the absolute most optimal world/circumstance possible. That's pretty fucking amazing and excites the hell out of me. Out of all the possibilities, we were given this life, holy shit, how amazing is that? Enjoy it, it's your life to live as you decide to live it.
 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

+rep

But wait, if this is true, then how can I feel sorry for myself and adopt victim psychology to justify why I can't handle freedom? :(

have an opinion, but don't marginalize a life threatening illness that is much more prolific than most care to admit. We lost a member of this forum last year because of it, it's a real thing that can't always just be "toughed out".