I'm Living A Lie, But Too Afraid To Leave.

[guerilla]

In an ideal situation I think every man would want to be a father and husband. But we just don't live in that utopia, and we have ourselves to thank for that.

I don't think in terms of ideal situations.

The guys who are not interested in building families, remove themselves from the gene pool. Nature works as intended.

Women wanted to be liberated from the role of mothers and wives. And now men want to be liberated from the role of fathers and husbands.

I think your frame of reference is very narrow on what women collectively want as individuals. There are a lot of great women out there. I used to think they were scarcer than good men, but now I think good men are probably just as scarce.

 

[nator]

There's a relevant read for you [ame="http://www.amazon.com/When-Nietzsche-Wept-Novel-Obsession/dp/0060975504"]Amazon.com: When Nietzsche Wept: A Novel of Obsession (9780060975500): Irvin D. Yalom: Books[/ame]

Basically, if you think shit will change if you go havoc and fuck a thousand women, you're wrong. You might enjoy the party for a while, but it'll be over sooner that you think. Finding love in this world is a hard thing.

 

[djsherpa]

This is fine if you're not interested in, or capable of, emotional attachments...

But what creates an emotional attachment?

What makes you attach more meaning to one thing compared to another.

You mentioned HIS values and YOUR values. Values are the only thing that creates perspective, the only things that create emotion.

"Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so." -Shakespeare (paraphrased)

I'm not trying to get all philosophical, but every one that responds here is responding based on their own values and how they perceive his situation.

Maybe question your own values, the distinction the OP has made is that he has negative emotions towards his current life situation.

Tony Robbins states, negative emotions are indicators that your value/belief structures are not in alignment with your life situation.

Either change your beliefs, or change the situation.

Happiness in life comes from living in alignment with your beliefs and values, and the biggest problem in our society is that:

MOST PEOPLE NEVER CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE THEIR VALUES

 

[guerilla]

But what creates an emotional attachment?

What makes you attach more meaning to one thing compared to another.

You rant didn't make any sense to me whatsoever. Was there a point?

 

[Ar Scion]

I don't think in terms of ideal situations.

The guys who are not interested in building families, remove themselves from the gene pool. Nature works as intended.


I think your frame of reference is very narrow on what women collectively want as individuals. There are a lot of great women out there. I used to think they were scarcer than good men, but now I think good men are probably just as scarce.

I don't think there are such things as great or not-great men/women.

There are men and women with healthy values, and unhealthy ones. Then there are people who live in line with their values, and people who don't.

Ideally, you want someone who not only has the right values, but who lives in line with their values.

But our values and behavior are influenced by media and our society. Look at the OP's post (I know hes trolling btw) and figure out who or what media messages have influenced him.

Honestly, as ridiculous as it is, it's a perfectly rational conclusion to draw from the womens liberation movement. Men want to be liberated too.

 

[lose lose win]

MOST PEOPLE NEVER CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE THEIR VALUES

I agree, but would like to add that it isn't only about choosing your values, but also accepting them. Some values you don't choose to have- you must accept them.

 

[lose lose win]

Long lasting relationships aren't for everyone, but without them, we wouldn't be here to have this discussion, because the human race didn't evolve by avoiding emotional, familial, religious, legal, marital and cultural commitments.

As if marriage and religion are nothing but positive contributors to society..Who's to say society wouldn't be better off?

We would still be here.. things would be drastically different- but we'd be here.. and there's no way of knowing if one way would have turned out better than the other.

Marriage and religion, have contributed just as much negative energy to the world as it has positive. If things had evolved differently, men might live in modern forms of tribes.. who knows.. Not me, or you.. your logic is flawed.

Everyone is lumping OP's post into this quest for debauchery, and while i'm sure that after so long of a deprivation, there would most certainly be some.. he would eventually realize fucking random girls isn't all it's cracked up to be.. So what? What he really wants is freedom, excitement, and spontaneity.. He is bored as fuck. He doesn't have to fuck skanks all day after leaving his wife.. but he can meet new and interesting women, appreciate them, have meaningful relationships with them...not marry them. Not to mention his freedom to be alone, or discover what his passions are...things that can sometimes be difficult to do while in a commitment for life.

I certainly can respect those of you that are married, if it makes you truly happy...but it's ludicrous to speak of it as the natural extension of human relationships. How can it be the natural extension if it is man made?

 

[TylerDurden]

You should watch fight club.

 

[guerilla]

As if marriage and religion are nothing but positive contributors to society.

Where did I say they are only positive?

.Who's to say society wouldn't be better off?

Conjecture is a waste of everyone's time. Make an argument and defend it.

We would still be here.

Prove it.

I certainly can respect those of you that are married, if it makes you truly happy...but it's ludicrous to speak of it as the natural extension of human relationships.

Not all of us are married. Some of us are adults however.

How can it be the natural extension if it is man made?

Man is part of nature.

 

[guerilla]

It's actually pretty easy to get a chick pregnant without being married to her or having an interest in building families etc.

You're not an alpha if you can't raise your children. Alphas are about more than being a big swinging dick and having a six pack.

Long story short - women want alpha seed...whether they're into "building families" or not.

Sure, they are hard wired for successful breeding with high caliber mates, and men are no different. That doesn't mean that some video game playing, basement dwelling, internet baller who talks shit on forums all day is an alpha just because he hasn't gotten married yet and keeps secret his thrice yearly trip to Thailand to find the lady boy that got away.

The difference between a man and a boy isn't the amount of hair on his ballsack. It's in how he accumulates social and economic power, and projects it in the world around him.

 

[Dwight Schrute]

The difference between a man and a boy isn't the amount of hair on his ballsack.

Especially considering the fact that I have no hair on my balls.

 

[claywalsh]

lol

You should watch fight club.

+ rep

 

[unagi]

i married at 27 got sep. 3+ years into it, that was 1.5 years ago... not tech. divorced yet, no kids makes it easier.... i was wrapped up in my work a lot as i enjoy it, i dont lead normal lifestyle in that i am an artist (and seo im freak) but i dont keep normal schedules, jobs etc work crazy erratic hours - but accepted thats what i need and what i want really...

yes i did party a lot (it was toronto rave scene, what choice did i have then !), had a bit of a run of years girlfriends/sex/flings, yada, but nothing insane...
but ultimately i think these tough situations (and i have been through some TOUGH years...) are just a part of going through life - there is no one answer except not to compromise yourself for others (too much, i do believe in love but that it shouldnt put unreasonable constraints on you) - definitely dont live to other peoples expectations...

i dont believe in the idea of striving for some future state of happiness - in any permanent sense, i know life is and always will be up and down ....

its true 'the grass is always greener' aint true but if you feel like you are living for everyone but yourself, you gotta change it, dont stagnate....

 

[4rch3n3my]

be true to yourself... do what makes other people happy only if it doesn't seriously affect your happiness too....

i always quote the 'oxygen masks' in an aircraft synonym - always put your mask on first before helping others

the fact is eventually you are going to crack and leave... if you're not happy it's only a matter of time before it gets to be too much and everything breaks down... it could be months or years.. but you'll be unhappy until you leave the place that makes you unhappy.

take control of your destiny and do what you need to do..

 

[buxtonlove]

Fuck religion. Its not real.

Fuck marriage. Its kinda real, except when you get screwed over.

Fuck all y'all. Just because.

 

[turbolapp]

That would make a great band name.

Ha. I say that all the time: "Hey that <insert random sentence> would make a great band name"

Sad that I didn't catch my own sentence

 

[turbolapp]

There is no one size fits all, when it comes to this stuff, yet the fact of the matter, here, is we crave deep connected relationships. Maybe not all the time. Sure, we all go through periods of elected isolation and shallow relationships. (I think they're called your 20's and maybe even 30's )

But to spend 80-100 years doing that? The majority of us would not live a fulfilling and happy life that way. That's just the facts, ma'am.

 

[lose lose win]

Where did I say they are only positive?

You implied it.

Not all of us are married. Some of us are adults however.

Conjecture is a waste of everyone's time. Make an argument and defend it.

Follow your own advice. Provide more than conjecture.

and this whole thread is a waste of time.

Prove it.

I can't, nor can you prove we are better off with these institutions.. that's my point. I'm not trying to convey opinion as fact, as are you.

You will probably spout off some shit about the burden of proof, and who it falls on.. save the technical bullshit.

Man is part of nature.

So everything made by man is a natural extension? Marriage a natural extension of relationships? Could it not simply be a flawed concept, ingrained as the norm, through centuries if indoctrination? Are prescription meds a natural extension of nutrition?

 

[guerilla]

You implied it.

How so?

Follow your own advice. Provide more than conjecture.

and this whole thread is a waste of time.

lol

I can't, nor can you prove we are better off with these institutions.. that's my point. I'm not trying to convey opinion as fact, as are you.

This would be true, if you would be willing to own up to your position in full. That you reject that man is a social creature, that man develops deep emotional and psychological bonds, that man works co-operatively when it is in his interest and that man is capable of reason.

If you reject all that, then this "we can't know anything about reality" stuff might fly.

You will probably spout off some shit about the burden of proof, and who it falls on.. save the technical bullshit.

Just reason amigo. People who lack a sound argument tend to dislike technical issues, because they prove the unsubstantiated position without merit.

In other words, if what you have to say was true, you wouldn't have a problem proving it.

So everything made by man is a natural extension? Marriage a natural extension of relationships? Could it not simply be a flawed concept, ingrained as the norm, through centuries if indoctrination? Are prescription meds a natural extension of nutrition?

If man is from nature (unless you believe in god) then what man creates is also of nature. The notion that man is > nature is ridiculous. One sphere exists within the other.

Would we call a beaver dam, BEAVER MADE and deny it is part of nature?

Would we call an eagle's nest EAGLE MADE and deny it is part of nature?

Of course not. We understand that creatures act and influence their environment. We just do it on a more sophisticated scale. It doesn't change our fundamental nature.

 

[guerilla]

First of all, I'm not throwing my hat in the ring with the OP, I'm simply pointing out that your statement is not only false, but ridiculously naive as well. I'm sure you realize that now.

Another substance less critique.

You disagree, but you fail to demonstrate why.