This is what I hate about relationship advice from women. One little bump in the road and the first word that comes out is divorce.
Why so hasty to split the family up? Grow some balls and tell him to fight for his family and his marriage like a man ought to.
The family's the most important thing in your life and family doesn't just mean the kid it also means the man or woman you're married to. Lifelong motherfuckin' commitment.
I've always admired people who grit their teeth, never gave in and found a way to get through their problems rather than pussy out and play the divorce card, man or woman.
Because women are born quitters. Actually anyone who is overly emotional is likely going to consider quitting as the best option, every time.
Really?
I've been married ten years. I got married at 21 and I'm sure as hell not a quitter. In my experience there are quite a few overly emotional women out there who make rash decisions and they mesh reasonably well with the overly emotional men who think the world revolves around a pair of testicles and their right to happiness and the endless adoration of women. Fortunately, I'm not married to one of those and my husband isn't married to the stereotyped crazy female.
Read back through the thread. You have a man bitching about how he doesn't love his wife, how he's living a lie and how he wants to man-whore it up around the world. He's looking for an out - not a fight.
If he's lamenting, by all means he can fix it. He should have spoken to his wife already about it instead of whining on a public forum. In fact, he's probably already cheated on her and is too scared to put that in writing and is looking for justification for his behavior from others. Fortunately for him, plenty of other guys here have readily given him lots of kudos for considering the possibility - this is obviously a question of maturity, not gender. The fact that you (both) immediately tried to play a gender card doesn't speak well of your maturity, either, by the way.
I, like a fair portion of the other responders, fully believe in long-term relationships. But a relationship is a two-party system with open communication and honesty. If one person isn't committed or is screwing around on the other, the relationship is sick, dying or dead. Should the wife should stand patiently by while he "works it out" without a clue what's going on? I'm simply saying she has rights in the relationship, too. With the right information, she might decide she's open to an alternative lifestyle, too, but nobody will know if he never asks or offers to include her.
Should he fight for his family - of course, I won't argue that. In fact, I already suggested it in the second half of my original post. A real couple would already be fighting through the differences together if they really wanted the relationship to work. But this guy isn't a fighter:
"Now, at 28 years old, and after 5 years of marriage, I have stopped believing in everything, God and marriage included. I just don't believe people are truly happy living this life, and I don't believe that we were meant to suffer through life being holy so we can go to heaven.
I haven't had anything insane happen in my life, and my wife is a loving caring woman, but I just don't want to do it anymore. I have held in my desires for so long, that all I can think about is partying, travelling the world, and fucking thousands of women.
I am currently living a lie. I go to church every Sunday with my wife and her family. I volunteer. I act like everything is fine. When I am alone I drink, I go to strip clubs, and more."
Strip clubs and more, eh? So when he infects his wife with some venereal disease then gets some other chick pregnant as he figures out if he's willing to "fight for his family", she should stand idly by to help him - perhaps with an ongoing prescription for herpes in one hand and a freshly made sandwich in the other?
He's made up his mind - he wants out, but it sounds like he can't commit to being a man and just walking away OR ponying up to the fight. Instead he's dragging her through his indecision. I have a ton of respect for people who fight for a lasting, loving relationship, too. This guy isn't fighting.